Happiness — a word so widely used, yet so deeply misunderstood. Everyone wants it. Everyone searches for it. But if you ask ten different people what happiness means to them, you’ll likely get ten different answers. That’s because happiness isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s deeply personal. And over the years, through ups and downs, mistakes and moments of peace, I’ve come to realize what happiness truly means — to me.
The Chase That Never Ends
For much of my early adult life, I believed happiness was something to chase. I thought it lived on the other side of success — the dream job, the perfect relationship, the new phone, the vacation I couldn’t yet afford. I was always telling myself, “I’ll be happy when…”
But that “when” kept changing. Each time I achieved a goal, another one took its place. I was always reaching, always waiting, always planning for a version of life that hadn't arrived yet. And in doing so, I missed what was already around me. The warmth of ordinary mornings. The friends who showed up when it mattered. The small wins that didn’t look impressive on social media, but meant the world to me.
At some point, it hit me: If happiness is always tied to the next thing, it never really arrives.
The Illusion of Perfection
Like many people, I bought into the illusion that happiness comes from perfection. A perfect body, a perfect lifestyle, a perfect routine, a perfectly curated Instagram feed. I was constantly comparing myself to others — people who seemed more accomplished, more attractive, more “put together.” Social media didn’t help, either. Everyone was posting their highlights, and I was measuring my behind-the-scenes against their best moments.
But the pursuit of perfection is exhausting. It’s a moving target. Even when you think you’ve reached it, the bar moves higher. And the worst part? It robs you of peace. You start believing you’re never enough, your life is never enough, and joy becomes something you feel guilty about unless it’s “earned.”
I had to unlearn this mindset. Happiness isn’t in being perfect — it’s in being real. It’s when I allowed myself to rest instead of hustle. When I gave myself grace after a bad day. When I stopped trying to fix everything and just let things be.
Small Joys, Quiet Moments
One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned is that happiness often shows up in quiet ways. It’s not always loud or dramatic. It’s not always about laughter or celebrations. Sometimes, it’s peace. Sometimes, it’s presence.
Happiness is:
- Sitting with a cup of tea in silence after a long day
- Listening to your favorite song and remembering a moment from the past
- Having a deep, honest conversation with someone who gets you
- Walking barefoot on grass and feeling grounded, even for a second
- Looking in the mirror and not criticizing yourself
These moments don’t look glamorous. But they are sacred. They remind me that joy isn’t always found in change — sometimes, it’s found in stillness.
Happiness Is a Choice — Sometimes a Hard One
Life isn’t always kind. There are days when nothing seems right. When people let you down. When plans fall apart. When you feel tired of pretending to be strong. And on those days, happiness feels like a myth.
But I’ve learned that even on the hardest days, we have small choices. To be kind to ourselves. To find a moment of calm in chaos. To speak gently to our own soul.
No, we can’t force happiness. But we can create space for it. Even if it’s just deciding not to let anger win. Or choosing to rest instead of push. Or allowing ourselves to cry — and then start again.
Sometimes, happiness isn’t the absence of pain. It’s the decision to not give up on beauty, even when life feels broken.
So, What Is Happiness to Me?
To me, happiness isn’t a fixed destination. It’s not something you arrive at one day and stay forever. It’s fluid. It comes and goes. It grows and changes. And that’s okay.
Happiness, to me, is:
- Being fully present in the now
- Letting go of the need to control everything
- Accepting the messiness of life without losing hope
- Laughing, even when nothing is perfect
- Being able to say, “I’m okay,” and truly mean it — even if just for a moment
In the end, happiness is less about what you have, and more about how you feel about what you have. It’s an inner alignment — a quiet knowing that life may not be perfect, but it’s still worth living, loving, and showing up for.
And maybe that’s the most beautiful part of all.